Under The Oakes

This past week, it has been impressed upon me how many generations in the Bible don’t do as well as those who went before them. The Old Testament is full of sons who fell away from the Lord after having loving, faithful parents. As a parent myself, this has been a heavy weight on me. I want my two sons to have a relationship with the Lord. I want them to grow up to know that while their earthly father loves them immensely, their Heavenly Father loves them so much more & so He loves them perfectly! He has a plan for their lives & His plan is perfect. I want them to call upon the name of the Lord!

Here are a few examples of Father/Son teams that don’t work out too well. Let’s start with Aaron & his sons. We read of them in Leviticus. Now, I know for us all, Leviticus is a HARD read. I have talked to a lot of different people over the years, and NEVER has anyone come to me & said their favorite bible story or verse comes from Leviticus. I actually just had a conversation with a fellow brother in Christ this week, where he asked me how I would expositionally preach through the book of Leviticus. I told him it would take a very faithful Pastor, & a very patient congregation! I then told him, I prayed God didn’t call me to that. I am obviously joking (to some level), but Leviticus is a HARD read. Anyways, it is in Leviticus 10 that we read about the fate of Aaron’s sons. Aaron’s sons tried to worship God their way, instead of His & because of that, they were struck down. Aaron, who certainly had his flaws, was chosen by God as the first High Priest over the nation of Israel. Sadly, his sons made their own decisions & it cost them their lives.

Jump ahead to Judges, we read of Gideon. Gideon was a great man of God & a great judge for the people of Israel. The people of Israel actually wanted Gideon to be their King, but Gideon had the wisdom to decline that role, stating that it was God who would choose their leader, not him. However, later in life, he clearly went astray. While scripture is not abundantly clear on ALL he did to go astray, we read he made an ephod & the nation of Israel worshipped the ephod, instead of worshipping God. He also had 70 sons, so it’s safe to say he had multiple spouses; that’s not God’s design. He then had his son Abimilech, whose name meant, “My father is King”. Abimilech took over & he was arguably one of the most evil judges…… (Let’s not gloss over the fact that while Gideon didn’t want to be King, he allowed his son to be named, “My father is King”….)

We jump further ahead to 1 Samuel. A story we all know so well. We read of Samuel being raised in the temple by Eli. God comes to Samuel at night with a message. What is that message? Eli’s sons are worthless, & they will not be taking over, & they will be killed. Samuel then has to relay that message to his mentor Eli. Samuel was a young boy at this time, & the Lord tasked him with giving a HARD message. Just a chapter or two later, we read that Samuel’s sons are also worthless & that is when the nation of Israel demands a King. Samuel, instead of allowing his own sons to take his place as a prophet, is instructed by God to go & choose a King.

There are 3 simple examples that jumped to my mind this morning. I know there are many, many more. Now, let me issue a disclaimer: there are examples going the opposite way as well. For example, in 2 Kings 22, King Josiah, the youngest King in Judah’s history, becomes King at 8 years old. We then read of him realizing the nation has drifted away from the Lord & Josiah turns the nation around (to some level). We also know that Josiah’s father & grandfather were WICKED kings! His father, King Amon, did plenty of evil things & was assassinated by his own servants. King Manasseh, Josiah’s grandfather, was Judah’s most wicked King. He built altars to false gods, he promoted child sacrifice & had no problem with witchcraft, using mediums. So I know that there are examples in scripture where the son did better than the father, but they are few & far between.

So, where does this all leave us? How can I raise my children to love the Lord, pursue a relationship with Him & teach them how to live as a non-compromising Christian in a very compromising world? To discover this answer, I jumped into scripture, poring over scriptures & I found we needed to look no further than Timothy. While we are told very little about Timothy’s Father, we know he was Greek (Acts 16:1). We can look deeper in scripture & learn a lot more about Timothy. I found 4 points that I have put below to help me raise Christian kids in a non-Christian world. I pray they will help you as they have me. Here are 4 ways we can raise kids who love God in a secular world:

1. Start early – make scripture something that is part of their foundation. Not an add-on later in life. 2 Timothy 3:15 tells us that from childhood Timothy had been acquainted with the sacred writings that made him wise for salvation through faith. What does this mean? It means his family, specifically his mother Eunice & grandmother Lois, had taught him God’s Word from a very young age. Teaching your child the things of the Lord before the world has a chance to disciple them is HUGE. We all know that teaching an old dog new tricks is near impossible, but it is possible. The sooner you start, the easier it will be for everyone involved. (**If you have an older child & haven’t done this, don’t get discouraged. There is no better time than the current time, so start today! Don’t ever rule God out of the equation!)

2. Model a sincere, lived-out faith – In 2 Timothy 1:5, Paul references the sincere faith he saw in Timothy’s mother Eunice & grandmother Lois. Timothy didn’t just hear the word as referenced in chapter 3; he saw it lived out daily. We all know that our actions speak louder than words, so this shouldn’t surprise us, but sometimes we want our kids to be raised “right” without holding ourselves to the same standard. If you spend more than 20 minutes with kids, you know they can spot hypocrisy quickly. My wife & I always refer to our sons as sponges. They absorb EVERYTHING. They hear what we say, even when they’re in the other room, & they see what we do. If our actions don’t match our words, they know it & will put less trust in our words, because they are turned off by the hypocrisy. Which aren’t we all turned off by hypocrisy? This doesn’t mean be perfect, but admit your wrongdoings & apologize when you need to. Living out a sincere faith is the best thing you can do to be honest with your kids.

3. Prioritize spiritual influence over cultural influence. Timothy grew up in a mixed culture. It was most likely pagan, but we can’t say with 100% certainty. However, we can say that his mother’s discipleship outweighed the surrounding culture. This is a HARD one to live out. I can remember when I was a kid, there was nothing to do on Sundays except go to church, because everything was closed. Boy, has that changed now! Sports programs don’t even try to acknowledge church schedules. I can remember when I was in my pre-teen years, I signed up to play in an indoor soccer league. My family was surprised to learn the games were on Sundays at 1:00. Well, church let out at 12:00 (if the preacher wasn’t too long-winded) & our church was 45 minutes away from the soccer field. Every Sunday was a mad dash to run out the door during the closing prayer, hop in the van, grab McDonald’s drive-thru for lunch & change in the back of the van to be at the indoor arena by 12:45…. After about 3 games, my dad informed me I could finish the season, but we wouldn’t be doing this again, as long as the games were on Sundays. I was fine with it then, truthfully, & I totally get it now as a parent & pastor. This one is hard, & your kids will not like it, but don’t put your children’s athletic schedule before their spiritual schedule. There is a minimal chance they will go pro in the sport they play, but there is a 100% guarantee they will stand before the Father someday & have to account for their actions. Train them up right, I beg of you….. (This now stretches past sports to all kinds of activities/hobbies, so protect your children’s time. Let them be kids!)

4. Teach them to continue, not just know. 2 Timothy 3:14, Paul tells Timothy to continue in what he has learned. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Continue to learn more about Jesus, more about scripture, more about the love God has for you. You won’t know everything, no matter how hard you try. Spend time in God’s Word. Nobody regrets spending too much time with God. Don’t make it legalistic. It is a relationship, not a religion, but spend time with Him, first & foremost.

I pray these 4 things bless you & help you as you raise your children. We all have different thoughts, plans & dreams for our kids, but I know we all want God’s best for them. How can they know what God’s plan is for their life if they don’t even know God? Pursue Him, honor Him, glorify Him, in ALL you do! Be blessed!